An Essex blonde and an Irish guy are in a bar when the blonde girl notices something strange about the wellies the Irish guy is wearing.
She says,"Scuse me mate, I aint being funny or nuffink, but why doz one of your wellies 'ave an L on it and the uva one's got an R on it?"
So the Irish guy smiles, puts down his glass of Guinness and replies, "Well, oim a little bit tick you see.
"Cor blimey," exclaims the Blonde,
Another Essex girl is involved in a serious crash, there's blood everywhere.
The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till she's lying flat out on the floor.
Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."
Girl: "OK."
Medic: "OK the how many fingers am I putting up?"
Girl: "Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!"
The one with the R on it is for me roight foot and the one with the L is for me left foot."
"So THAT'S why me knickers 'ave got C&A on them."